Moving away from family and friends to another state is always hard. The unpacking, settling into a new job, learning small community dynamics are all a challenge but the hardest thing is not being home when you need to be. Its been a hard week here in our new town hearing news from back home that hasn't been the happiest news. My dear old dad is having surgery right now as we speak, a favourite uncle is riddled with blood cancer and battling everyday, my amazing 95 year old auntie has just had a stroke whilst still living on her own, and my beautiful cousin aged 38 is battling for her life after her ovarian cancer returning after a brief period of remission. I feel so happy for her that she has had this remission to spend time holidaying with her husband and two small gorgeous children. Every part of me wants to book a flight home. It makes you feel regret and sometimes question why on earth you moved at all. All I know is today I count my blessings. I will be heading to our town church this weekend to light a candle for everyone I know who needs many prayers right now.
August 06, 2012
I haven't blogged for a while now, we've been in the middle of a move interstate to live and work and we are both exhausted. Added onto that we have our 4th episode of the flu in 6 months and for a couple who never get sick this has been frustrating! Anyhow I normally have very finely tuned hearing, smell, sight etc sometimes too finely tuned and I can hear, smell and see everything. Over the past two weeks I have had an ear infection which has brought some welcomed silence into my normally noisy world. Losing some of my hearing has been a quiet blessing for my senses which are usually on overload. It has strangely helped still my mind in the middle of a few months of moving chaos.
Yesterday was the first anniversary of our Son Olly's birth, born sleeping into this world on August 5th 2011, and I forgot. I know that sounds terrible but both my husband and I had not particularly marked the date to remember. We have tried hard to celebrate our lost babies special days but we got distracted. At first I felt so very guilty but then I reflected on my day yesterday. I had a really odd feeling yesterday that I had forgotten something, I was feeling a little emotional and I even looked at Olly's scan where you can see his little face and features. Looking at his scan is something I rarely do as it just breaks my heart. On reflection I felt like he was tapping on my shoulder all day saying "hey mum, I'm okay but don't forget me" :-(. We will never forget you Olly and we know you and Opal are always with us. It has been a long year my little Olly and our world has done a complete turnaround. We will always be so grateful for the impact you have had on our lives.