August 24, 2012

Count your Blessings

Moving away from family and friends to another state is always hard.  The unpacking, settling into a new job, learning small community dynamics are all a challenge but the hardest thing is not being home when you need to be.   Its been a hard week here in our new town hearing news from back home that hasn't been the happiest news.  My dear old dad is having surgery right now as we speak, a favourite uncle is riddled with blood cancer and battling everyday, my amazing 95 year old auntie has just had a stroke whilst still living on her own, and my beautiful cousin aged 38 is battling for her life after her ovarian cancer returning after a brief period of remission.  I feel so happy for her that she has had this remission to spend time holidaying with her husband and two small gorgeous children.  Every part of me wants to book a flight home.   It makes you feel regret and sometimes question why on earth you moved at all.   All I know is today I count my blessings. I will be heading to our town church this weekend to light a candle for everyone I know who needs many prayers right now.

August 06, 2012

Our senses & Anniversary

I haven't blogged for a while now, we've been in the middle of a move interstate to live and work and we are both exhausted.  Added onto that we have our 4th episode of the flu in 6 months and for a couple who never get sick this has been frustrating!  Anyhow I normally have very finely tuned hearing, smell, sight etc sometimes too finely tuned and I can hear, smell and see everything.  Over the past two weeks I have had an ear infection which has brought some welcomed silence into my normally noisy world.  Losing some of my hearing has been a quiet blessing for my senses which are usually on overload.  It has strangely helped still my mind in the middle of a few months of moving chaos.  

Yesterday was the first anniversary of our Son Olly's birth, born sleeping into this world on August 5th 2011, and I forgot.  I know that sounds terrible but both my husband and I had not particularly marked the date to remember.  We have tried hard to celebrate our lost babies special days but we got distracted.  At first I felt so very guilty but then I reflected on my day yesterday.  I had a really odd feeling yesterday that I had forgotten something, I was feeling a little emotional and I even looked at Olly's scan where you can see his little face and features.  Looking at his scan is something I rarely do as it just breaks my heart.  On reflection I felt like he was tapping on my shoulder all day saying "hey mum, I'm okay but don't forget me" :-(.  We will never forget you Olly and we know you and Opal are always with us.  It has been a long year my little Olly and our world has done a complete turnaround.  We will always be so grateful for the impact you have had on our lives.

Tammie xox