December 29, 2012

It's not like in the movies

At what stage is it in life where we realise that real life is not like in the movies?  Is it when we have our first heartbreak and realise that love isn't always perfect? Or perhaps it's when we find ourselves 40 years old and single, having not met the perfect Mr Right (another movie creation!)  I do not mean to sound like a pessimist I just wonder so often when we will stop believing the bullshit and consumerist ideals portrayed so strongly through all forms of media and our dominant social mores.

This year our Christmas wasn't perfect, in fact this being our second Christmas without our babies was even harder than the first.  Our little man would have been 11 months old, and if our second pregnancy had continued our little girl would have been 3 months old.  It was just us on Christmas, no family.  We don't have the fancy house, perfect jobs or the dream marriage or children.  We are plugging along everyday, fighting our way through the autumn season of our marriage.  Trying to strengthen, trying to be patient with each other, and trying to heal.   See life isn't like the movies.  We dearly would love to adopt a child but in Australia the regulations for overseas adoption are really complicated, it doesn't just involve money it incorporates political and legal guidelines that are very strict.  I read some blogs sometimes, all portraying a perfect life, i.e. "The Smith Family"- married as childhood sweethearts, four healthy children, big house with white picket fence and I wonder do these people really exist?  Do some people actually live the happy ever after? Maybe the do.  I guess I learnt a long time ago that it only matters what I do not what others do, but in our current endemic of depression and suicide in the western and new western world I wish we could all learn that life is not a movie.  We only get one go.  In a few weeks I will get some test results from a growth found in my bowel during recent surgery.  We can only take each challenge as it comes.  Here's to a brave new year in 2013.

Our hearts ache for a family, but you know what we already have one.  We did create 2 beautiful babies but sadly they just left us too soon.  We still have each other and our wonderful fur kid of 12 years who gives us so much comfort and love.

This is our fur kid Buzz at Christmas 2012!.