July 12, 2013

Measuring stick

Just recently I have come across the well known TED Talk by Brene Brown on vulnerability.  If you have never seen it the You tube link is provided below.  I watched this TED Talk (I'm addicted to TED talks by the way!) after a recent counselling session and things really started to gel together for me.  I am such a 'Measuring stick' person and I was struggling with the thought that my feelings of grief were still there.  I revealed to my therapist that I was really worried that I wasn't further along in dealing with grief.  I had certainly spent many months processing our pregnancy losses and had been through many classic phases of grief but I still felt worn down somehow.  I know some people are so much more resilient in their grief.  My solution over the past few years has been to withdraw.  We do not have a strong social network and have never really felt we needed these strong social connections with people.  Brene Brown talks about our ability to connect and belong, two things my husband and I have forever struggled with.  She also talks about her measuring stick and that just clicked with me.  Why have I been so worried about measuring my grief?  Grief is a very individual thing, and I have been being very hard on myself.  Brown's TED talk mentions that we can not show compassion to other people if we can not at first show it to ourselves.  This is something I will be working on from now, being happy with where I am at, being gentle with myself and feeling OK with vulnerability. I am going to put away my measuring stick and relax.

I came across this article below on and Australian web page I follow and I thought it maybe an applicable link to those who are dreading the Royal baby.  It is hard to deal with media bombardment sometimes, and I can only imagine how hard it is if your due date was around this time.  It is never that you are not happy for someone to be experience the joy and celebration of a new baby it just reminds you of what you do not have yourself.  Much healing and love to those who will struggle over this time ahead.

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